


Brief Flickers

by Baneofwonderland



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Bane Chronicles - Sarah Rees Brennan & Cassandra Clare & Maureen Johnson, The Mortal Instruments (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Immortality, Loss, M/M, Malec, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-07
Updated: 2016-11-07
Packaged: 2018-08-29 17:25:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8498800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baneofwonderland/pseuds/Baneofwonderland
Summary: "This is the day I knew I'd never grow old." Magnus said quietly.
------
The prompt was "Magnus tells Alec a painful story of his past about someone he lost" from Musclememory. I kind of tweaked it a little.. So much angst! I'm sorry...





	

It's November the 7th and Alec has never seen Magnus this way.

He's.. lost in himself. Lost in the memories of his long life. And Alec doesn't know how to help. 

"Magnus, talk to me." Alec requests quietly. He looks over at Magnus from his spot on the couch.

Magnus has his back facing him. He'd been staring out the window, watching the New York bustle of traffic stories beneath them. He'd been silent all day, refusing all of his clients and even an invitation to a dinner with some prominent fashion designers (which Alec knew he'd been hoping to garner for some weeks now). But Magnus hadn't wanted company and now that Alec was finished with his Institute duties for the day he had wanted to spend the evening with his boyfriend. Alec waited apprehensively. 

"Magnus.." He reproaches.

They'd always been able to talk to each other. They were the others rock in times of hardship. Magnus had opened up about all his past relationships with Alec, leaving nothing out. Alec had shared his feelings about Jace and how he coped being a closeted man in the Shadowhunting world. They gained strength from sharing with the other even in the midst of their vulnerability. But coaxing things from Magnus always took time. 

He watched Magnus' back as he continued to stare out the window. Alec began worrying at a spot on his hand. Whatever was bothering Magnus must be intense for him to turn down so many offers in one day. He just hoped he'd be strong enough to handle whatever it was.  

"Magnus, anything it is we can-"

"This is the day I knew I'd never grow old." Magnus said quietly.

Alec couldn't help the tightening in his chest. Immortality. It was an issue that would always be hiding in the shadows for them. He knew it bothered Magnus sometimes, particularly when they faced questions about Alec's fate. But the warlock rarely talked about his own worries with it- just the worries he had when it came to others.  

"It was a beautiful day," Magnsu continued, his voice soft. "I'd been thinking of my mother and the songs she used to sing to me. I wish I could remember them all.."

Alec sat quietly, listening.

"There had been a knock on my door. And all I could think about was that I didn't remember all the songs. It was so important to me for some reason.. I wasn't prepared for the woman who waited for me. Had I been human, the shock would have ended me."

Magnus took a deep breath.

"She was my mother's niece. The resemblance knocked the wind out of me and nearly drove me to my knees. She was the image of what my mother would have looked like had she lived into her 80s. And she was there, looking at me as if I were the demon who haunted her nightmares."

Alec watched as a shudder ran through Magnus's body but he didn't move, not yet.

"You see, I hadn't aged a day past mid-twenties. To her, I still looked like the youth she had met years before. I don't know how she found me. But it was clear she'd never try again."

His shoulders hunched a little forward.

"I had begun to feel it- the wearing of time while I remained stagnant. I had begun to notice the years stretching out and not being able to catch ahold of them. Human lives were brief flickers in my world and I was cursed to burn on."

Alec stood then, crossing the room to where Magnus was. He reached out to place a hand on his boyfriend's arm.

"This is the day I lost the person I'd been, the person my mother would have wanted me to be." Magnus's voice cracked a little showing the pain behind his thoughts.

Alec let his hands slide to Magnus's waist and then wrap around him. His forehead settled on the back of Magnus's neck and he held him tightly. Alec wasn't sure but he thought he could feel a bit of his strength leave him then, transferring into the warlock. He was grateful that at least he could share physical strength when words failed him. 

Magnus' problems were so much greater than his. Alec fought demons, delegated for the Clave, lived through his tiny inconveniences. Magnus destroyed nightmares, saved downworlders, and dealt with realms unseen. He was trying to find a place in a world that changed everything but him. And he was just so _good._ Magnus was the kind of person that lit a room, he was the type to sacrifice everything for an idea, he made those around him want to exist in the same world. And he constantly reminded Alec how lucky he was.

Alec didn't know much about Magnus's family. He didn't know much about the world Magnus was born into.. But he did know about pride and expectation and honor. And he didn't doubt that Magnus lived up to everything his mother hoped for him to be and more. He squeezed his boyfriend tighter and offered what comfort he could.

"Your mom would be proud of you." He whispered.  

 


End file.
